Anoche, por skype, buscando no sé qué info del Primavera, topé con esto con unos amigos, y risas infinitas. Anti chistes en "broken english" sobre los letones.
Hay que leer unos cuantos para pillarles el rollo, van a mejor, vamos:
Man car break down near house of farmer. Take shelter in barn. Find farmer daughter in barn. Oh! Hot stuff! But TOO LATE! Is already rape by soldier.
Q : What are one potato say other potato? A : Premise ridiculous. Who have two potato?
Q : How many Latvian is take screw in light bulb? A : 25. One screw in, 24 ride bicycle generator for 1-hour shift. But time probably better spend search food.
Three Latvian are brag about sons. “My son is soldier. He have rape as many women as want,” say first Latvian. “Zo?” second say, “My son is farmer. He have all potato he want!” Third Latvian wait long time, then say, “My son is die at birth. For him, struggle is over.” “Wow! You are win us,” say others. But all are feel sad.
Latvian try to cross river. Has dog, potatoes, and dead son's body. Can only take two across river at one time. If he leave dog with potatoes or corpse, dog eat them. Is very sad. Also is not good boat.
Latvian is rub lamp find genie. Genie say, “What is three wishes?” Latvian say, “I wish potato!” Then, POOF! Potato! Latvian so happy! “Oh! Is potato! Is potato!” say Latvian. Genie ask, “What is next wish?” Latvian is say, “I wish you go away so can enjoy potato!” POOF! Too bad. Also, was only lamp.
One day, hear knock on door.
Man ask "Who is?"
"Is potato man, I come around to give free potato"
Man is very excite and opens door.
Is not potato man, is secret police.
Please open door. Is cold.
Latvian girl is say, "I want go America one day." Father say, "I send you America." Daughter is thank father. Make tears of happy. Father use for salty potato. Father think moment, say, "Daughter, I no send you America." Potato is more salt.
Why six is afraid seven?
Because seven have many friend politburo.
Questioning: Why did chicken cross road? Answering: I have not seen chicken since I was very young, on my parents' farm. This is before the Cossacks slaughtered them. I can still hear screams of sister as soldiers rape her. But back to question, where did you see chicken? I am very, very hungry.
Is dead dog in road. Is dead Latvian in road. What difference? Dog have fur keep warm. Also, freedom. And dog try eat poop for pleasure not just survive. So many thing!
Latvian Nursery rhyme:
one potato, one potaTo, one potato, no more potato.. soldier eat potato and rape daughter..is end.
Q: What you call Latvian sent to Auschwitz? A: On vacation
Q: What you call dead Latvian in road? A: Lucky man
Latvian go to visit farmer, "Are there any more potato left?"
Farmer say, "Yes, one. But it has gone bad with worm."
Man says, "I am very hungry and have not eaten for many day. I shall eat potato with worm even if it make me very ill."
Farmer says, "I am sorry I did not speak truth. Reality there is no potato left. We go hungry another day, my friend."
Lloro de risa